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April 8, 2019

True stories by illustrator Ted Parker #7

Hotel

Illustrator Ted Parker came up with the idea to reconstruct true stories that take place in Volkshotel. So here it goes.

Once upon a time, in a hotel far far away the new Jesus showed up…

He called himself the new Jesus. In terms of age, he could have been. He looked like he was in his early thirties. A friendly young man, sporty too. He was wearing a red Adidas tracksuit, had a couple of gold teeth and a white cap on his head. The new Jesus wasn’t alone, he came with a small white dog.

The new Jesus said that it might sound weird, but that he was in fact the new Jesus. I said I have heard of weirder things. My thoughts wandered off to the old Jesus and what had become of him. Dying for the sins of humanity isn’t a walk in the park, but he went ahead did it anyway. The hero.

The new Jesus said he came from Deventer and was looking for a bank, a specific bank. He was about to become the boss of this bank. Every Dutch person would get 5 million euros from this new Jesus. Afterwards he would quit this job and find guidance by the angels who spoke to him through his cell phone. He couldn’t prove the angels spoke to him because his phone needed to be charged.

If he could please use the toilet please.
How could I refuse the new Jesus?

While the new Jesus excused himself, I talked to his pet. I told the dog that recently a dog fell out of the window from the 4th floor and survived the fall. It was a miracle, I said.

No, said the new Jesus’ dog. It had nothing to do with miracles. It was the prime example of the touch of God, the father of both the new – and the old Jesus.

A that moment the new Jesus returned from the bathroom. Along with his dog, he left. It wasn’t until later that I became aware that I didn’t tell him where the bank he was looking for was located. At the same time I realized that a small detail like that can hardly stop the new Jesus.

What I’m saying is, keep an eye on your bank account.

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