One time our night porter was the shoulder to cry on…
“Early in the morning a woman stood all alone at our reception desk. A tear came rolling down her face. Our night ported asked her what the problem was and she replied: “I’m having marriage problems and I left my husband tonight. I’ve been driving around Amsterdam in an Uber for over an hour to find a place to stay”. Unfortunately, the hotel was fully booked. There was just one room available, but it was dirty due to a previous guest leaving early. Our night ported decided there was nothing left to do than to clean the room himself and offer this heart-broken lady a warm place to stay.”
One time our night porter had an one-on-one with a lady of easy virtue…
“Around 03:45 am a lady named Yana entered the hotel and informed our night porter she came here to work. Our night porter asked her politely to leave the hotel, for obvious reasons. Yana obliged. A few minutes after she left he received a phone call from her ‘coordinator’: “Normally it’s never an issue, can you tell me what the problem is?” Our night porter pointed out the house rules listed on our website and read out loud: “Drugs: (use, possession and selling of any kind) and prostitution are not tolerated in any part of Volkshotel”. The coordinator responded upset: “Prostitution? My escort service is much more than just that, we are a professional and classy business.” And that’s where it all ended, Yana disappeared in the night, the ‘coordinator’ cried himself to sleep and who knows what the unsatisfied customer ended up doing.”
One time two disabled people made love in front of the hotel…
“A wheelchair is not a handicap. It can be the best pick up line to get laid. Our head security asked two men in a wheelchair and two women who made love in front of the hotel, politely to find another place for their intimate interactions.”
Illustrations by Ted Parker
Ted-Parker.com
